i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
