I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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