how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
are you so shy because you have an std?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
