U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
