My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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