she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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