come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
