Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
