Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
