I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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