Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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