I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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