I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize