"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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