Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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