I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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