I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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