Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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