he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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