so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
