Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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