So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
All I want is dick and wine.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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