What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Randomize
