I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Randomize
