There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
