So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
