He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
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