sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
