I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
