I skipped work to stalk him.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
