areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
