Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
