she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
