The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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