It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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