piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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