He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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