my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
