I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize