If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
pop tarts are not kleenex
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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