Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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