I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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