I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
