Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
