I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
