im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
