I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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