nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
