Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
