you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
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