she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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