And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
