Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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