I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
