For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
