sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
