the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
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She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize