I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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