so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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