I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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